Long bet: casting for Assassin’s Creed movie
It was recently announced that Ubi is planning to do a film adaptation of Assassin’s Creed. As movies based on games tend to be totally perfectly cast, here are my predictions as to who they’ll tap. Hell, I’ll write this for both AC1 and AC2:
- Desmond Miles: Shia Lebouf. Gotta start this thing off on the right foot! And he’s such a great actor.
Runners up: Chris Evans; Michael Cera.
- Lucy Stillman: Angelina Jolie. I mean, yeah, maybe Lucy was voiced and looked like Kristen Bell, but we can change that. This role involves running!
Runners up: Megan Fox; Natalie Portman.
- Altair: Jake Gyllenhaal. That guy can act, right? He’s already played one brown guy from that part of the world, surely he can do it again.
Runners up: Shia Lebouf; The Rock.
- Al Mualim: Mark Strong. Name one time where Mark Strong played anything other than the bad guy. … Right, exactly.
Runners up: Nicolas Cage.
- Warren Vidic: Matthew Fox. Take away all that good karma he got from Lost and what’s left? An evil scientist.
Runners up: Michael Emerson.
- Ezio Auditore: Jay Baruchel. Did you see his performance in that one movie? Or that other one?
Runners up: Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Bartha.
- Rodrigo Borgia: Robert Downey, Jr. Already the greatest actor of all time, here’s his chance to play the antagonist.
Runners up: Jeremy Irons.
- Cesare Borgia: Ralph Fiennes. Sure, why not. I don’t even know.
- Leonardo da Vinci: Nicolas Cage. Now here’s a good actor who can pull off the Italian accent necessary for this role.
- Shaun Hastings: Russell Brand. He’s our comedic relief to the otherwise serious story.
Runners up: Dominic Monaghan.
- Rebecca Crane: Eliza Dushku. She can pretend like she can use a computer, I think.
Runners up: Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Oh man, I hope even half of these are true. Imagine the money I’ll rake in from this bet!