Bring it on home, Westboro!

Yes, everyone has heard that the asshole who was going to hold a Quran book burning has decided to cancel, as long as the imam that’s behind the community center near Ground Zero moves the center’s location. Now the guy says he won’t move and blah blah, they’re going to have a meeting, whatever. Honestly it seems like blackmail to me: either you move the center, or we burn the Quran. Maybe we should issue something like that to the Tea Party. Disband forever, or we’ll set some crosses on fire. … Then again, maybe not.

Anyway. Where one crazy person disengaged, another crazy has stepped up to fill the void. Westboro Baptist Church, my favorite group of people of all time, will burn the Quran instead. According to one of their blogs (I won’t link to it because they don’t deserve the clickthroughs):

The Westboro Baptist Church will burn the Quran and doomed-american flag on 9/11/2010.

The false prophet Terry Jones caved-like all false prophets do, and like we told you he would.

We will burn your Quran on 9/11/10 to tell the world that the Muslims are the servants of God-and they will bring the final affliction to Israel and the Jews according to the promises of God.  … Meanwhile we will also burn the flag of this doomed rebellious disobedient nation of proud sinners.  While you sissy brats browbeat and jockey with the false prophet Terry Jones-pretending like the lives of those soldiers are your political and personal pawns-we will tell you the truth.

Now here’s the conundrum. They’re going to simultaneously burn the Quran and the American flag. Crazy Christians were going to burn the Quran, and crazy Muslims burn the American flag. Crazy teabaggers who hate Muslims want to see the Quran desecrated, but they’ll have to do it while watching their flag be desecrated – and people who want to see the American flag in flames will have to do it at the risk of watching their own holy book burn. It’s so crazy!

Actually, I have to commend Westboro for achieving what seems to be rather impossible: somehow pissing off everyone at once. At the same time, they’ve also made it easier to write them off – hell, most of us have already acknowledged that they’re batshit crazy. So will enemies join forces against a common threat? The heat will be on!

Thursday, September 9th, 2010 11:10 pm - essays, politics

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